Here's to a hypocritical post...

What I want...

My freshman year of college is winding down to just a month left and I'll be out of here before I know it. I would like to say, that before I leave for the summer, I have done a lot. My best friend Kayla and I have decide to rent part of a house or an apartment next year, which I'm really excited for. Not only that, but I decided what to do with my life in some small sense. I'm not sure what God has in store for me, but I'm going to get an associates degree in Early Childhood Care and Education. I have always wanted to work with children, so we'll see where He takes me from here. Last, I'll be getting a job next semester as part of the program. I'm really excited about this part, because I'll be working in a daycare! Yay!!!

For the next part of my post, the hypocritical part. I know he has plans for me, but there are so many things I want. I want to be out of school and I would love to be a mother. The other day my roomie and I went looking at apartments and the guy asked what we were studying. As usual, she said undecided, and his response was hilarious..."So your taking generals and looking for a husband." To my surprise, she laughed and said, "Something like that." This was news to me. I love her to death, but I was shocked, because she had never said anything to this effect before. I think she was joking, but anything's possible.

I want the guy...I would love to find him. I'm tired of just meeting a guy, them trying to sweep me off my feet, it works, and I end up falling. I hate and am scared of falling...guys have made me scared to fall. I hope that when I meet the right man, that he will be patient with me, love me and support me as I learn to fall in love again.

This was my dream...I wanted to get married to my high school or college sweetheart. I wanted to not go to school, but be a wife and mother instead. And with everyday that passes, I worry that I won't find that, that it isn't in His plans for me. I know that if that's the truth, I will have to accept that. I want so badly to be in love...be married...have a baby. I would be okay if that meant adopting. It doesn't matter to me, God. I just want to...

Please God, I want to trust you, I want to have faith in what you have in store for me, I want you to fill me up with you, your love. Please, please God...I want to wait for him. I need your strength...please.

P.S. I wrote this in April. I finally decided to post it.

Mothers

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

~Washington Irving

This really should have been posted on Mother's day, but I'm doing it anyway. Mothers are a special gift to us from God. He gave us mom's to love, care, worry, help, encourage, understand, sacrifice, and be there no matter what. No matter how old you are, you know that you can always turn to her.

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."

~Author Unknown

As we grow up, mothers watch over us, love us and take care of us. She shows us the important things in life, like how to love and care, as well as teaches us how to be strong. She protects us from the world, but teaches us the dangers, so later on we can protect ourselves.

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child."

~Sophia Loren,Women and Beauty

Being a mother is nowhere near easy. Being a mother takes strength, understanding, love and courage. When you become a mother, you are no longer living for yourself, but for your children and family. When your child hurts, you hurt with them. You have to be strong for them and support them. You are a friend, yet first and foremost a mother.

"A mother understands what a child does not say."

~Author Unknown

I am blessed to have not just one, but two wonderful loving mothers. I have my mommy, and Tina, my step-mom. I love them both dearly. They have been there for me and my four brothers, loved us unconditionally, encouraged us to be what we want to be, protected and yet showed us the world, joys and dangers in it alike, and sacrificed for us. These are two very strong women, and one day when I am a mother, I hope to be like them.

"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love."

~Mildred B. Vermont

A quote I find funny, and yet kind of true...

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895