Dying...

I'm not sure about you, but I tend to think about death a lot. But what I tend to think about is rather odd. I question what my purpose in life is. I know that some do this, if not most, but I do this for a particular reason. But here it is...

I am always questioning my purpose in life. I know that God will not take me from this life to be with Him until I've finished my purpose in life.

I read a quote today from a chain email that said, "Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young." It reminded me of the song, If I Die Young by The Band Perry. As I listened to this, I think about all of the things I haven't done in this life, all the things I haven't achieved yet.

It was an odd coincidence that I read another blog today of a friend of mine. The blog however was about life and from their point of view, how everyone's life would be better without them. I was saddened to see this, but happy in another. I know they will read this, so let me get all my thoughts out on why I felt this way.

I was happy when I read the blog for a few reasons. I loved the title of it, and it showed how they felt. Not only that, but it expressed their feelings greatly and I think it's important for anyone to write down thoughts and feelings, whether on a blog, or in a journal and I encourage such.

After reading the blog, I was deeply saddened as well though. I hope they will continue to let me read it after I say this. They expressed great anger and sadness with their life and family. They claimed few friends, which I was not insulted, for I had the honor of reading this, which meant that I'm someone to them. But this reminded me of another quote from the same email, "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab our's back."

I love my friend, and she reminded me of this, because nobody's life is perfect and we all have skeletons in our closets. I wish life was easier for us, everyone, but it doesn't work out that way. As long as we have each other and God, we will make it through this crazy gift of life...

Everything happens for a reason...

I strongly believe that this saying is true. With what has happened in my life, I believe there is a purpose for us. I would like to think that with all that has happened in my life, there is a reason behind it.

It's amazing how this is shown to our society. Everyone has different ways of expressing their thoughts through music, art, and writing. I have done such myself through writing this blog, not only that but an art form of tattoos. I have two tattoos and one of them has everything happens for a reason in Latin. I love it and the only reason why I have this is to serve as a reminder to myself. I believe God has a plan and that for everything that has happened in my life.

God doesn't cause bad things to happen, but He helps you through those times... This is another saying that I believe. It reminds me of a story I love, that I heard a long time ago. It's called Footprints in the Sand:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed You,

You would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,

is when I carried you."

~Mary Stevenson

take a deep breath...

Sometimes it's just nice to stop. In life we don't really have a way to just relax, with technology, our world our world no longer revolves around the sun, the simple joys, beauties, moments God puts in our life, or even Himself.

Time is usually not seen as a bad thing, but with time, we wake up before the sun and stay up late into the night. There is a time for everything, and even I find myself talking about how there is not enough hours in the day. We would like to accomplish so much, that when we don't get it done we look at it two ways, either there's always tomorrow, or we get disheartened and seem to never try to finish whatever it may be.

As a student in college, some people may think I have a lot of time. I am a full-time student with no job and no commute to school. Not only have I lost motivation for school work, but it seems as if every one of my professors thinks that their class is the only one I'm taking. I look at my friends, and all of us seem to feel that way. I wonder why we have all lost the will to try. One time my friend got a quote off of facebook that said, "The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!" When she read that, I thought it was completely true. But if that's the case, where did my umph go? I was very excited about coming to college and experiencing being away from home. It has it's ups and downs, but I've realized that this is where God wanted me to be. And in order to continue in the same direction, I need to try to the best of my ability achieve my goals and go down the road He has chosen for me.

I once went for a ride on a motorcycle. The owner of this bike is a friend of the family and someone who means more to me than he will ever know. Not only is he full of adventure and fun, but a great photographer. He is one who often stops to catch and capture the moments that take your breath away in a frame. This motorcycle ride gave me the most unexplainable feelings, but I know I could never experience them again. It was a different perspective seeing the creation of the Lord, the live work He made. The only thing between us was the mask of the motorcycle helmet.

So stop, take a deep breath , take a look around at the beauty. Forget about the time and just see what God has done. In order to appreciate the scenery, you have to clear your mind of the stresses daily life causes.

Faith...

Lately, I have been thinking about what someone told me the other day. Last Saturday I was flying to come back for school after spring break. I was lucky enough to sit next to a smart young man of 17. Usually, those of the male gender around his age I call guys, but he was definitely an exception. I will probably never see him again, but I'm glad God put him in my life, even if it was just for an hour. To start off, he talked. This was the best plane ride I've ever had, even more so since he was a stranger. Andrew and I talked almost the entire plane ride about hobbies, school, home, where we were headed, ect. Towards the end of the ride we came to the topic of the bible and Christianity. I told him about how I was raised Catholic, but not to the extent that I should have been.

My faith had shaken in God and his plan for me when I was a teenager, and now six years later, one of my friends has led me back to Him. I knew only that I believed in God and that Jesus died for our sins...that was the extent. So, this semester I decided to look for a church and I found one after trying at least five churches, which all were different denominations. I have found a church that I love. Everything about it welcomed me and I feel like I belong there. I may not have everyone's support on this new life that I'm living, but I pray God will give me strength, like He did through Andrew.

In the process of landing Andrew looked at me and said that atheists must have a lot more faith, because of all that surrounded us. I saw his point, with faith in God, there's a beautiful canvas that you live in, one you can see, touch, taste, hear and smell. Not only that, but through him, there's a purpose to life and being here. I'm not sure why anyone would want to be here if there was no purpose to it. Last, the fact that there is a promise of everlasting life with Him, instead of this being the end. I thank God for putting Andrew in my life, not only for this point of view, but also for the fact that as we went our separate ways he said that he was glad of my new found faith and hoped that I stayed with it. Little blessings like Andrew showing support and God's love from an almost complete stranger was most encouraging. Even the little things are proof that He's here, waiting, watching, loving and taking care of us.

What you need when you need it...Not what you want when you want it...

In church today, one of the things we talked about how God will give you what you need when you need it, not what you want when you want it. Which is exactly what I needed to hear today. Crazy as it may seem, God works wonders, and He does it all in His timing, not ours. Don't get me wrong, the power of prayer shouldn't be underestimated, because He always will hear you and answer your prayers, just not always with the answer you were expecting or wanted.

Just this past week I had experienced such a thing. I went to my mom's school over my spring break. In her class we couldn't have our phones on, so I turned it off. During the day, I had been brought to a low point because one of my friends had said something that hurt me greatly. Not only that, but I had been just having not a great week because I was bored and alone for most of it. So, at the end of the day I turned my phone back on. I had a new text message that said, "Proverbs 3:5-6 : Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

It was exactly what I needed to hear and the exact time that I needed to hear it. I have to trust the Lord and know that He has a plan for me. Wherever life may lead me, I know that he directs this path and is showing me the way. In the end, where I end up is up to Him and I'm okay with that. I trust Him and have faith that in the life He will give me is a good one. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I'll be happy.

Dating and Courting...

I once read a book, Arms of Love, and it has changed my perspective. I used to debunk the idea of courting right away, but I think that is because I really didn't know what it was. Not only that, but I was 15 and in my first dating relationship. So, I didn't read the book. It took me about two years, if not more, to sit and read it (four years after I received it as a gift). Once I did, I fell in love with the idea...and now finally choosing to live for God, five relationships later, and a heart broken more than once, the idea of courting has become appealing.

You may ask what is courting and everyone has their own views, but to me it's more than a relationship...it starts though with a friendship, and two people decide to try being more than just friends. These people try to find out that the other is who they are suppose to spend the rest of their lives together. It's a commit to each other. They have a basis of a friendship and with family, friends and God's help, they decide if it is the right person. That's a brief summary anyway.

Why is this so appealing? Well, no more pain and heartbreak. It's a friendship and if done perfectly, which nothing is besides The Creator, in the end you have a good friend who knows you whether you end up being together forever or not. I would like that. I'm tired of false promises and pain. My heart belongs to God, because I know he won't cause me pain like that. And when the next guy comes along, I'd rather court than date him. Not that I have time for such a thing. Because I need to focus on school and my relationship with God right now. But I'd be happy if he would be willing to court me, because dating isn't about having fun to me, but finding the man I'm suppose to spend the rest of my life with.

Starting new...

As my first post I was just going to start with a brief intro of what this blog means to me. I have recently I started going to a church, which is a whole new experience for me. As I have learned more about this, I have come to a decision of living my life for God. As this is recent though, I know it will be difficult. So, the Thoughts you may read could be of the day, could be about something I read in the bible, or even my thoughts to God. I was talking to a friend today and had an epiphany, that I didn't need to tell someone in particular about them, but just needed to write them down. So that's what this is...a place for my thoughts. I hope that you may find this inspiring. As I've said before that this was the first post, what I didn't mention is that this is my first actual blog...and I don't expect to be good at it. Another reason for this blog, is it will be something that I can keep and have some control of. As I give up my life to God...(and school) I will not, do not, have control over it...so now I guess in some sense I'll be telling you or whoever reads this, about my loss of control in my life. Haha...have fun reading and enjoy this wonderful gift called life with me.