So here's to the future! 2.1

Revised What an Adventure! (In case you were wondering why it's 2.1)

April 7, 2012

     So on April 1st, and no it wasn't a joke, David proposed!!! I'm so excited to be getting married. Even though it's  set for fourteen months away, I'm getting married and planning a wedding. And the ring...wowsers!!! I'm in love. I saw this ring and I wanted it so bad, then we went back to get it and it was gone. I was so sad that I literally cried myself to sleep that night.
      Well, a w-h-o-l-e week later he proposed with The Ring. I was so estatic, and yet upset at him for faking me out like that. I of course said yes, so now my fiancee and I are into wedding planning. =)

I can't wait,
    Soon-to-be Mrs.

What now...?

I apologize for taking so long to write. It's been such a long time, and I have been very busy. It doesn't help that I don't have internet in my apartment. Where should I start? Even though it was hard, and some days it is still difficult, I'm coming to terms that I won't have my baby in this lifetime. My boyfriend and I have weathered through it all, and he's been so strong and supportive for me. I however am not writing to dwell on this; I just wanted to give an update.

I have had a crazy schedule and now that all my plans have changed, I have to make new ones, right? Well, right after this all had happen to keep my mind busy I started to make plans. These were some crazy, and I mean crazy plans. My boyfriend and I had discussed when I got pregnant, that we'd probably get married in the future, but no promises because neither of us wanted to. Well, after the miscarriage I asked one simple question, "Do you still want to marry me?" Not that we ever planned on it in the first place, nor that I actually wanted to get married, but he looked at me in all seriousness, "yes." That was all I needed, and I ran with it. I was over the hill in dates, colors and places, and up to my head in 'Who to invite?' I wasn't even engaged, pregnant, nothing....and I was planning a wedding. Not to mention, I'm a poor college student who moved into an apartment and is now...broke. How would I even afford an small court wedding, not even an extravagant one like this. I wanted to always be a housewife, but the wife part, maybe not so much. This, I hope sounds funny, because looking at it now, I sound insane to myself, let alone the world I told about it...

Oops, because my plans have, of course, changed again. I have only discussed these now with two people, my mom, who's one of my best friend, my boyfriend, and you. We've talked about many options, but the most recent, decided on one has been for him to work full time, me finishing school (maybe even back in Colorado) to get a bachelors and then getting married. (Between now and then, I hope to get a ring.) This seems more like a reasonable option because it will give us time together, maybe apart, to figure things out, save money, and of course, plan more...

What an Adventure! Part 1.1

November 4, 2011

Wowsers! This has been quite the past couple of weeks. On the week of October 10th, I had a strange feeling. This feeling I've never had before, and some will never know this feeling. What was this feeling? A one of a kind, 'I might be pregnant.' feeling. Yeah, crazy right? Well, I honestly couldn't remember how many weeks I had been without my monthly friend, but I knew that it had been almost three weeks as a rough estimate. I took a test...and to no suprise, negative. But no matter what that stick said with one little pink line, that feeling didn't go away! It drove me crazy. Over that next week and a half, was one of the longest waits of my life yet! Without my monthly gift still, on Saturday, October 22 I took another. TA-DA!!! Without a doubt, there was two pink lines smiling at me as tears of joy, and nerves rolled down my face. Since then I have looked for information on everything! Now at 5w5d and counting, I'm so excited for this new adventure on my journey of life!!!

December 3, 2011

Sadly, I have to say that this adventure came to an end on November 30th. I went in for an ultrasound at 9 weeks and 3 days, where they didn't see the heartbeat. All I have to say is that I will always remember our little lovebug, who we only knew for a short 6 weeks. I know that our angel baby is up in heaven with God and family, and that they will take care of Little Lovebug until I am there.

Lovebug

Positive: Oct 22, 2011 Miscarriage: November 30, 2011 Due Date: July 1, 2012

Who's tiny prints crossed our hearts, but couldn't stay...

Trying to Find Strength

This is so hard for me. I got what is the best news in the world the other day. I know God has a plan for me and what will happen, it's just hard to find His strength in me. Honestly, I have to ways to look at it. I can see this as a mistake or part of His plan for me. I'm going to go with the latter half, and have seen it that way since the beginning. However, I feel at a very weak point in my life due to this news. I tend to be someone who plans in advance and likes to know what's going to happen. This has been a wake up call from Him. I now know that I'm not in control, and that He is the only one that knows. I am trying to find the courage and strength to just trust Him, to put my faith fully in Him and the plan he has for me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

*Note: Just a heads up, "What an Adventure!" is a new series I have started to write. I will be posting it around Christmas!

My tattoos...

I would like to create my new tattoo...

As my latest and greatest idea of living my life for Jesus Christ, I have decided to get a tattoo that represents that. It will be a cross, with a black outline, not sure if it will have soft, round edges or straight, hard edges.

For the soft one, I want to the top to be:

J

o

h

n

3:16

The bottom:

J

e

r

a

m

i

a

h

29:11

And one verse on the inside of each arm of the cross...

For the hard edged one, either the same or like:

J

e

r

Corinthians 13:13  a       Hebrews 11:1

m

i

a

h

29:11

Some of you may be asking, "But why a tattoo?" Well, I'll tell you. Each of my tattoos represent and mean something to me. Some are harder to explain than others, but they all have a meaning behind them. My first tattoo I got when I was 18, about a month after my birthday. It is a tribal heart, that I'm guessing most have seen. That is the tattoo with the complicated meaning...so I'm not going to try to explain it. My second tattoo I got was the next year , a month before my 19th birthday. It is a lily, with omnia causa fiunt written along the stem. The lily is my favorite flower, and the saying means, 'Everything happens for a reason,' a saying I have used basically as my motto. I don't know what the future will bring, but I do know that I can trust in the Lord, and he has a reason for what happens and the way they do. As I have already given you an idea of what my next one will be and what that stands for. And so far, I can only think of one more. It will be a representation of "breaking free". I have to first get a degree before I get this tattoo, but eventually I will get it...

Praying...

I was looking out the window spacing...and something random crossed my mind. I thought to myself, I should be praying. Praying for my future husband. I know it might sound odd, but I don't pray nearly as much as I should. I feel close to God in one sense, but in the other, He's like a friend I don't talk to. I was talking to a friend awhile back and she told me that it's something people do quite often, praying for their future spouse. Even though we don't know them, or we do and we don't know that it's them. I also remember talking to a friend I've had for years now, and a couple of years ago, we were discussing future husbands. Anyway, this isn't to discuss about my future husband, but praying for him. But when I did more research on it there were a lot of praying about yourself and him. So I decided I should start with myself.

God, I turn to you to ask for your help. Help me in putting off these feelings of longing. Help me wait for the proper time for marriage and a family. Lead me to find the one who You have chosen for me. Help me on this Yjourney to build friendships with those around me and with You, so I can be closer with You. When the time does come, You will be there and help me make one of the biggest decisions of my life, and You will help me know if the time has come and he is the one You have chosen for me. Teach me Lord to seek You and Your love first. Help me to remember on this journey of life, You are always there for me. Lead me, Lord, to do Your will for me and not my own. Amen.

Strawberries with sugar :)

So this summer I had all these plans to be healthy. Well, let's just say it didn't work out the way I planned. As you can tell from the title, I'm eating strawberries with sugar on them. Yum!

Anyway, none of my summer really turned out as planned, big surprise there! That's okay though, because it's not quite over yet and I really can't complain about how it has turned out.

I have also decided to delete my facebook. We'll see how that goes over. I still want to and will keep in touch with people, I just don't want a facebook anymore. I hope that makes sense.

Have you ever seen a cat drool? I know it sounds crazy, at least to me it does, because I had never until my cat did it. I for some reason have a cat (who I love dearly...she is my baby and my princess) who acts like a dog half the time and drools, which I guess could go under the dog category.

I think I worry enough not just for me, but enough for my family and friends as well. I'm looking at my schedule for this next semester, and frankly the only free time I will have will be on the weekends, but those too will have to include my daily routine and homework. The time I do have left, I will have to split between a few close people, who are very dear to me. I swear, I won't have a lot of me time.

I know these are little blurb thoughts, but that's okay. It's just what's on my mind, and I thought I'd share. 

That's all I'll say for now. Thanks for reading!